Joanna, I'm in exactly the same position. Turned 55 last month, and have really been slowed down physically by age and the long-term effects of chemo, that aren't going away. Thing is, though, when I was diagnosed with cancer at 45, I was terrified. I had been used to running my life entirely on my own, doing everything myself, and being self-reliant for a very long time. I left home when I was 15. By 45 being completely dependent on myself alone was so natural I didn't even think about it. The sudden radical dependence on others was a total shock to my self-awareness. The pain and uncertainty of cancer treatments themselves paled in comparison to the massive interior adjustment it created. It was certainly up there on the list of five hardest things that I've ever had to do, and it changed me for the better, I hope forever. I learned that I'm not alone, won't be abandoned and can in fact rely on others to love and help me, AND that even when I am in a seriously reduced condition I can still help other people too. I can still be there for my friends. I can still write. I can still reach out to others and talk to them, and help them not feel alone and abandoned too. We're never completely robbed of our agency, our ability to orient ourselves correctly.
Glad you’re reaching out by blogging again. It is mentally and spiritually difficult to be isolated, especially at a time when things seem about to implode. We may not have the option to reach out to other Catholics in the near future. I know I’d appreciate hearing what others are expecting to happen and what they’re doing to prepare.
I'm so glad you're going to be blogging again. I've been helped a lot by your posts. I'll try to do better at commenting this time and not be such a lurker in the corner.
Hilary's been a help for me in sorting things out too.
I remember where I was…
I may have already noticed acid levels rising somewhat, but I had not yet become aware how close there were, in my mind, to the boiling-over point. Then I found myself standing in the parking lot of a burger joint on the way to a priest convocation. It was Tuesday evening November 5, 2013 and I was checking email. I saw the VIS announcements of not one, but two synods on the family. This was three weeks after getting the word that the Pope, himself, would be in Philadelphia for the World meeting of Families in Philly, USA. “Huh? I thought. “Why Three big meetings on the family?” “Sure the Family is hugely important…But unless we’re going nuclear, couldn’t we maybe do it in, say, one or two?”
That burger joint that afternoon was one place & time where I certainly observed, to my mind, “high acid levels.”
Shortly after that I found Hilary’s blog on the synod, and when I did, it helped me in a big way to realize that at least I wasn’t the only one with concerns.
Thank you so very much for your essays, especially your latest on the interior life. The Church has a rich and ancient ascetical and mystical tradition that is seemingly largely forgotten.
I'm not registered with Twitter, but wanted to comment on the hand-made 13th-century church you mentioned there on May 1. Something similar happened in early 20th century California, of all times and places. Our Lady of the Wayside Catholic Church was built in Portola Valley in 1912 by local residents, many of them not Catholic, who had struck up a friendship with the new priest and decided to “build Father a church”. It’s possible that they met him when he complained that their men’s social club had scheduled skeet shooting during mass time. (The reference I had for that has disappeared from the net -- drat.) They hired a notable young architect, but the stones were collected and building materials were hauled by hand by the townspeople. The beautiful little church is still standing, so far, but Portola Valley, an idyllic spot, sits squarely on the San Andres Fault. Let's hope and pray it will be spared for a while. Here’s the Wikipedia link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Our_Lady_of_the_Wayside_Church
Joanna, I'm in exactly the same position. Turned 55 last month, and have really been slowed down physically by age and the long-term effects of chemo, that aren't going away. Thing is, though, when I was diagnosed with cancer at 45, I was terrified. I had been used to running my life entirely on my own, doing everything myself, and being self-reliant for a very long time. I left home when I was 15. By 45 being completely dependent on myself alone was so natural I didn't even think about it. The sudden radical dependence on others was a total shock to my self-awareness. The pain and uncertainty of cancer treatments themselves paled in comparison to the massive interior adjustment it created. It was certainly up there on the list of five hardest things that I've ever had to do, and it changed me for the better, I hope forever. I learned that I'm not alone, won't be abandoned and can in fact rely on others to love and help me, AND that even when I am in a seriously reduced condition I can still help other people too. I can still be there for my friends. I can still write. I can still reach out to others and talk to them, and help them not feel alone and abandoned too. We're never completely robbed of our agency, our ability to orient ourselves correctly.
Thank you for this.
Great idea Hilary. Let us find a way to find God's way in our mutual misery.
Pleased to be able to read your longer pieces again, Hilary, and for the possibility or responding occasionally.
Glad you’re reaching out by blogging again. It is mentally and spiritually difficult to be isolated, especially at a time when things seem about to implode. We may not have the option to reach out to other Catholics in the near future. I know I’d appreciate hearing what others are expecting to happen and what they’re doing to prepare.
I'm so glad you're going to be blogging again. I've been helped a lot by your posts. I'll try to do better at commenting this time and not be such a lurker in the corner.
Kendra? Is this Kendra? This is Julianne..
Hi Julianne!
Hilary's been a help for me in sorting things out too.
I remember where I was…
I may have already noticed acid levels rising somewhat, but I had not yet become aware how close there were, in my mind, to the boiling-over point. Then I found myself standing in the parking lot of a burger joint on the way to a priest convocation. It was Tuesday evening November 5, 2013 and I was checking email. I saw the VIS announcements of not one, but two synods on the family. This was three weeks after getting the word that the Pope, himself, would be in Philadelphia for the World meeting of Families in Philly, USA. “Huh? I thought. “Why Three big meetings on the family?” “Sure the Family is hugely important…But unless we’re going nuclear, couldn’t we maybe do it in, say, one or two?”
That burger joint that afternoon was one place & time where I certainly observed, to my mind, “high acid levels.”
Shortly after that I found Hilary’s blog on the synod, and when I did, it helped me in a big way to realize that at least I wasn’t the only one with concerns.
I just subscribed!
About bloomin' time, Fran!
Thank you so very much for your essays, especially your latest on the interior life. The Church has a rich and ancient ascetical and mystical tradition that is seemingly largely forgotten.
I'm not registered with Twitter, but wanted to comment on the hand-made 13th-century church you mentioned there on May 1. Something similar happened in early 20th century California, of all times and places. Our Lady of the Wayside Catholic Church was built in Portola Valley in 1912 by local residents, many of them not Catholic, who had struck up a friendship with the new priest and decided to “build Father a church”. It’s possible that they met him when he complained that their men’s social club had scheduled skeet shooting during mass time. (The reference I had for that has disappeared from the net -- drat.) They hired a notable young architect, but the stones were collected and building materials were hauled by hand by the townspeople. The beautiful little church is still standing, so far, but Portola Valley, an idyllic spot, sits squarely on the San Andres Fault. Let's hope and pray it will be spared for a while. Here’s the Wikipedia link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Our_Lady_of_the_Wayside_Church
Best regards from your friend and fellow oblate.